Alleluia!

A friend recently asked me if I was going to incorporate my Latino roots in the wedding ceremony despite the fact that half the guests are English speakers, including Mr. Techy.

Great question!

We met with our officiant last month to discuss the wedding ceremony and we opted for a bilingual mass - surprised?

I'm sure you've gathered from my previous posts that my Hispanic heritage is the reason I strive to succeed in both my professional and personal life. So it was expected that I would follow through and incorporate my culture in the ceremony.

It would be unfair to both Mr. Techy and I if the ceremony were monolingual. We want to share this sacrament with our loved ones - and what better way than to make sure they understand what is being said.

The priest will alternate between the two languages, one reading will be in Spanish, the other in English, and the music selected for the vocalist will have verses in both languages. Finally, I'm going to make programs in both languages so the guests can follow along regardless of the language being spoken.

How are you incorporating your heritage in your nuptials?

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Hiatus

Hello everyone!

I apologize profusely for being on hiatus. Life really got in the way. However, fear not. I'm back!

Thank you to those who've emailed me to check in. I'm so flattered that you're enjoying my random musings. It really motivates me more than you an imagine.

I'm currently editing a few drafts I have saved and will be posting soon!

Saludos,

Miss Cafe

I'm Back

I'm back in NY. Well, I've been back, but just haven't had the chance to update the blog as I've been playing catchup at work and sleeping - a lot! I'll be back soon!

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Home is where the heart is

I'm going home to Miami tonight (yay!) to tie up some loose wedding ends. Like other brides, I have a LONG to-do list, but only have 96 hours to get it all done. Each second of my time has been strategically scheduled and places have been plotted on a Google map, with minimal breaks and many fast-food stops – Ladies, this is NOT a vacation (booooo!).

Planning a wedding remotely is not easy. It’s a fulltime job. When Mr. Techy and I first moved in together, I offered to be a stay-at-home girlfriend. Of course, Mr. Techy said he needed a little more commitment from me first. So I then offered to be a stay-at-home fiancé and plan the wedding, to no avail. It does sound pretty tempting though, huh?

I’ve been living in New York for almost four years (June 19 is my anniversary!) and continue to refer to Miami as home. It is and will always be. A foundation makes a house, family and friends make a home. I’ve been fortunate enough to have a wonderful relationship with Mr. Techy’s family; they help fill the void between visits to Miami. They live about an hour away so we don’t get to see them as much, but I always look forward to visiting. They’ve opened up their home as if I were one of their own. It’s made being away from my family a little easier to handle.

I’m very independent. I’ve always been. I couldn’t wait for the day I’d be on my own. Don’t get me wrong, my parents aren't overly invasive or strict. But I just needed to be on my own. There’s something so empowering about financially supporting myself, learning to survive and handling situations on my own that I would probably be sheltered from in the comfort of my parent’s house. I refused to move out of their house to then move in with a roommate or a boyfriend.

Living alone was not easy and glamorous. But it really helped me build a lot of character and thick skin. It's also helped me appreciate my parents, a lot more than I already did. I knew that if I survived living on my own, I could do anything! Even plan a "destinational" wedding.

Saludos!

Miss Café

Center of Attention

Believe it or not, I'm shy. I try my hardest to not be the center of attention unless I have no other choice. I'm definitely the behind-the-scenes type of chick. However, I've learned that in order to get what you want, you have to go after it. Period. The chances of the perfect opportunity landing in your lap is very rare. I am where I am today because I've had to put aside my fears, and take the chance. So far, no regrets.

For example, I totally hit on Mr. Techy when I first met him. I have no idea where the boldness came from, but I had nothing to lose. I voluntarily gave him my phone number before he asked for it (except, he didn't get the hint until much later). He was uber shy and thought I was being nice.

As you can imagine, the thought of having a bride and groom's table at the reception makes me slightly uncomfortable. I would rather be in the mix, than on display.

One of my fabulous bridesmaids just told me about a great alternative to a bride/groom's table she found on the flirtyguide.com. As opposed to a table for two, you can add two extra place settings at each table so you can freely hop from one table to the next and mix with your guests.

See below:

(Source)

Genius!

Saludos,

Miss Cafe

Culture Shock

Before introducing Mr. Techy to my family, I needed to mentally prepare him (and pray, a lot). I insisted he watch My Big Fat Greek Wedding for a preview of the type of family he would hopefully be marrying into - if he ever recovered from the culture shock.


Mr. Techy comes from a relatively small Irish-American family. He's from upstate NY where everyone knows their neighbors' name (I don't, do you?), Ma and Pa stores are still open for business, and his senior class totalled 151 students, (that's about the size of my mom's side of the family.) In other words, he's used to a low-key and quiet lifestyle.

Cue in the big, fat, Hispanic family.

My family is everything but low-key and quiet. First of all, they talk over each other. They can juggle at least 3 conversations at the same time without missing a punchline. As the night progresses their voices get louder and louder, because I guess drinking makes you hard of hearing? "Family" gatherings consists of grandparents, cousins, uncles, friends, friends of the family, friends of friends, children, out-of-town guests, in-laws, coworkers and bosses. And that is just for a bbq. Imagine the holidays.

How our families differ:

• Mine live within a mile radius of each other; His family lives miles apart.
  
• My family starts Christmas dinner at midnight; His family's done eating by 2pm.
  
• My family brings alcohol to every occasion (even to a kiddie's birthday party); His family has soda.
  
• My mom is 1 of 10 siblings; His mother is 1 of 4.
• My family knows who's where and with whom; Half his family doesn't know where we live.
• News spreads faster in my family than media alerts from PR Newswire; His family can go days without talking to eachother.
  
• Even if you are full, my family insists you eat more and will send you home with a doggy bag with weeks worth of food; His family takes no for an answer.

But despite all the cultural differences, the Miller and Portokalous family put aside their quirks and just danced. And I know ours will too.

What movie/sitcom exemplifies your family?

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Las Comadres

If you love to read, network and want meet other cool Latinas in your neighborhood, head on over to Las Comadres Para Las Americas - http://www.lascomadres.org/home_e/index.html.

My friend recently introduced me to this Internet-based Latina Book Club that meets monthly in many US cities. I just signed up and am looking forward to my first meetup!

As we get older, it's harder to make friends, everyone is busy with their own agendas, careers, families and relationships. Book clubs are a fun and relaxing way to meet people with common interests.

I've participated in book clubs in the past and have met many fabulous ladies in my community.

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

To Be or Not To Be - On Time

My friends and family are known to arrive late to everything. My sister was late to her own wedding, and my friends miss their flights. In Miami, this is known as, "running on Cuban time." I'm not that innocent either - I tend be late, too. So you can understand my reservation about printing the real time of the ceremony on the wedding invitations versus a fake time.

I'm toying with the idea of saying the ceremony is half an hour earlier than scheduled. So rather than a 3pm ceremony it would say 2:30. Here's my only problem - Mr. Techy's family is ALWAYS punctual! Every year, we're the last to arrive for Easter Dinner.

His entire guest list consists of out-of-towners and since they're staying in hotels near the ceremony/reception, they'll be at the church -- on the time. Mine are all local, and leave their houses at the last possible second assuming they can make it anywhere in 10 minutes.

So here are my options:

• Be hopeful, print the real time and risk that guests enter the church during the ceremony - or heaven forbid, walk down the aisle with me!
• Fib, say it's 30 minutes earlier and have the punctual guests wait, wondering if I got cold feet
• Meet in the middle and say it's 15 minutes earlier. Those on time will wait just a tidbit and those running late will have some wiggle room

I'm still debating so in the meantime tell me - What would you/did you do? How was the turnout?

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Who is Miss Cafe?

I was born and raised in Miami, FL - aka little Latin America. Growing up, all my friends were Hispanic. Some were born in the US, some were immigrants. I learned Spanish at home and English at school. I call my mom, Mami and dad, Papi. And when I talk to them on the phone, I always chat in Spanish - especially when I'm at work. Is that rude? I sometimes do this in front of Mr. Techy, too - but he knows I just can't help it, it's natural.

When asked where I'm from, I always say South America, though my mom corrects me and says, "You're American." I hadn't met an American (non Latino roots) until I started college and befriended a girl, who till this day, is one of my best friends. The funny thing is, she's more Hispanic than American. She dates Latinos, learned Spanish, and loves rice and beans.

I'm so drawn to Hispanics, they are like comfort food. Whenever I meet a Latino, we immediately have that connection. The, "I get you," connection.

Ironically, Mr. Techy is American and it has been fascinating learning about his culture, traditions and colloquial sayings. Honestly, I didn't know what "Pie in the Sky" or "Off the Cuff" meant until recently.

But I'm slowly rubbing off on him and his family. He is attempting Spanish - he's mastered all the bad words, and some conversational phrases. However, he better not intertwine them when meeting my family at the wedding.

Saludos,

Miss Cafe

Honey Bunch, Sugar Plum

Getting Mr. Techy to go shopping with me is not easy. Usually, I have to beg, cry, tempt him with food or agree to go to a sporting event. Ironically, he's ecstatic to register for wedding gifts. WHY, because he gets to play with this:



What is it about the scanner that makes men drool and act like boys. Honestly I don't understand so if you know the answer, please let me know. He's been talking about registering since we got engaged. Mind you, we don't have a house yet to store the stuff.

Mr. Techy and I accumulated a lot of stuff in the past few years. We had to donate all the duplicates when we moved in together because we didn't need two blenders and two slow cookers. We can always upgrade our cheapy appliances after the wedding.

But, we are very intrigued by this practical and unique concept:

http://www.honeyfund.com/

In lieu of gifts, your guests can pay for parts or all of your honeymoon. For example, someone can pay for your airfare, a romantic dinner, or even a spa treatment. The money goes directly from their account into yours without a middleman and you can keep track of the gifts you've received, the thank you notes you've sent, and manage your registry list. The cool thing is that it's completely free!



Our honeymoon is going to be very expensive- a 14-day Mediterranean cruise. Mr. Techy and I are excited about this opportunity! Since we're young, don't have children or major expenses, we decided to splurge and see the world. It 'll be a very long time before we can do it again.

We'll probably do a traditional registry so Mr. Techy can play with the scanner and get it out of his system. But I'm sure there will be a few things on the Bed, Bath and Beyond registry that I'll have to remove once he's done.

For example, we don't need a Keg O Rator!

(Source)

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Holy Fiance

Wedding planning has taken over our lives. Most of our nights consist of emailing vendors, designing the invitations, checking blogs for ideas, designing the invitations, booking our honeymoon and designing the invitations...

But aside from all the crafts and emails, we've also been attending religion classes so we can marry in the Catholic church. We aren't a traditional couple, but I wanted a Catholic ceremony.

Mr. Techy was one step behind me and needed to receive Communion. Last Sunday, he finally did - along with many 9 and 10 year-olds. Now, Mr. Techy is 6'0, not to mention much older so he was very obvious. You must really love me Mr. Techy! But in case you're wondering, he didn't have to wear white.

When Mr. Techy and I started researching churches for our ceremony, we came across a very traditional church with very traditional marriage requirements. We had to have all our sacraments, attend Pre Cana (a marriage prep retreat), and weren't allowed to be living together. It literally said, "If you are living together, stop. It is a sin."

WHAT?!?

For a few weeks, we had no luck finding another church. They weren't returning our calls, required that we go in person, were already booked or the fees were too expensive. Honestly, we were nervous about meeting the priest and having to justify our living situation. Lying to him was out of the question.

Mr. Techy and I've been living together for almost 1.5 years. NY is expensive, but I was able to live on my own for a while - I have very good self control when it comes to shoes vs groceries.

Where I'm from, it's the norm to live with your parents until you marry or go away to school. My friends, consisting of Cubans, Colombians and Nicaraguans, still live at home and they are in their late 20s. I was the first to leave the nest. I moved out at 23 contrary to Mr. Techy, he left home at 18.

We're from very different cultures and backgrounds, so the cohabiting talk came up many, many times, before I agreed. I never lived with a boyfriend, or a non-family member. I'm not going to lie, it was a very hard decision to make. The traditional part of me wanted to wait, but the modern, financially savvy side thought it was a good idea. Of course I loved Mr. Techy, but I was also scared of jeopardizing our relationship.

Well, luckily it didn't and fortunately we were able to find another church - and I didn't have to move out.

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Girlfriends Getaway

My amazing bridesmaids - aka the loves of my life (sorry Mr. Techy) - are planning a long weekend getaway for us before I become Mrs. Techy!

The bridal party consists of my sister (maid of honor) and 4 bridesmaids. Unfortunately, in the past 4 years, many of the girls have relocated and no longer live in my hometown. I don't expect them to travel for the bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc. It's expensive and they don't have the vacation days. So, we decided have our own little bridesmaids' getaway. Unfortunately, two can not make it, but they'll be there in spirit.

With that said - Napa, here we come!

Listen to this:

“Girlfriends' Getaway” Napa Valley Vacation Package

Indulge in a girlfriends' getaway, Napa style! Jumpstart the festivities with indulgent wine tasting experiences at a few of the area's finest wineries. Afterward, rejuvenate your body and friendship simultaneously with a massage and facial for two at Amadeus Spa. A gourmet evening plus breakfast daily will put the final delicious touches on your stay. The perfect way to celebrate “just the girls,” this Napa Valley hotel deal includes:

Concierge Level room for two, with breakfast served daily
Wine Tasting for Two at Napa Valley's Finest Wineries
Amadeus Vineyard Spa Package for Two, includes:
50 minute spa massages
European Spa Facials
Evening Turndown Service
Evening Appetizers, Wine & Dessert offered in the Concierge Lounge

http://www.napavalleymarriott.com/accommodations/

I'm very excited. We are aiming for early August. Mind you, I've never been to California because I am worried err petrified, about earthquakes - I know the odds are low, but I just can't help it. But, I figured the wine will help ease the nerves - at least that's what I'm telling myself.

How about you, are you doing anything extra special with your Maids?

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Meltdown

I am officially having a meltdown.

I have been really good at keeping calm during the wedding planning. It's a destinational wedding (for Mr. Techy and his family, not so much for mine). It's in my home town so 50% of the guest list is traveling.

Mr. Techy and I have been doing all the planning over the phone and by email. We chose the church based on the great photos on their website - luckily the deacon was easy going and understood our situation.

We have made major progress with the big tasks such as photographer, videographer, reception venue and church. However, I have been having horrible headaches and anxiety because of the invitations.

INVITATIONS! ! ! They are the death of me. From the beginning I was determined to make our invitations. I have been so excited about saying, "Yes, I made them!" Now I am like, "Honey, I don't want to."

I don't know why I can't focus, and make a decision. So many styles, colors, formats. I have found a number of inspirations online, but I just keep second guessing my talent and wondering if I can pull it off.

Here are a few I LOVE:

http://www.stylemepretty.com/2008/11/12/wedding-invitations-by-gourmet-invitations/



http://www.moderninvitationdesign.com/albums/album_image/5404760/1593243.htm



http://alovelymorning.blogspot.com/2008/09/diy-ish-invites-3rd-and-final-chapter.html



They are all different and beautiful in their own way. And it's been definitely hard for me to make a decision because I don't have my mom, sister, or bridesmaids nearby to give my their feedback. They don't live in NY and I miss them all dearly.

My mission for this weekend is to make a decision and to create a mock up.

I just needed to vent because poor fiance doesn't understand why I am having nightmares. But I am sure you all do.

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

I Love Latina Bloggers

I am now a member of LatinaBloggers.com! Monique, the owner of this awesome community, invited me to join and I was psyched. Thanks Monique!

There are so many talented, entertaining and smart Latina women out there. I enjoy reading everything they have to say - and I'm sure you will too. I believe we are very underepresented, and it's encouraging and comforting to know how successful these women are in their own special way.

Check it out:

http://latinabloggers.ning.com/

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Mother's Day Cards Tutorial

I wasn't able to capture the entire tutorial on camera because Mr. Techy wasn't around to take pictures. So below are the steps to creating the envelope and card from scratch.

Materials:
1 Large Sheet of Construction Paper
Pencil with eraser
1 envelope template (5x7)
1 card template (5x7)
YUDU
Black Ink
Glue Roller
Scissors
Scoring tool
Tape (preferably Scotch Tape, it doesn't rip the paper when you remove it)

Step 1)

I didn't have templates so I used a card/envelope from one of my stationery sets. I undid the envelope carefully. I then taped it to the construction paper and traced it. I also traced the card open faced and cut everything out. With an eraser, I lightly removed the pencil markings left over from when I traced the templates.

Step 2)

With a ruler and scoring tool, I made the creases so that I can fold the wings of the envelope.

Step 3)

I used the glue roller to seal 3/4s of the envelope.

Step 4)

I screen printed the images with the YUDU and let them dry for about an hour.

Step 5)

I personalized the inside of the cards, placed them in the envelopes and sealed the last flap with the glue roller.

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Identity Crisis

I attended a staff meeting yesterday at work, which consisted of about 30 people crammed into a little conference room. I looked around the room and realized I was the only Latina/Latino there. And I wasn't generalizing, after about 1.5 years in a company you eventually know who's what.

To put it into perspective I am 1 of 2 Hispanics on my floor. I know this because when I joined my company, an email was sent out to everyone announcing my arrival. My last name is very Hispanic and common. As soon as that email went out, a lady ran up to me and asked, "are you Latina?" We got to talking and she mentioned that she is Cuban and has been working with the company for over 40 years. She knew every Hispanic in the company because there are so few of us.

It's so sad to be living in a metropolitan city and have a 1 to 50 ratio in a large company.

It got me thinking about my last name and whether to hyphenate it or not after the wedding. Fiance's last name is American (and a very beautiful one, I must add). Though it is an honor taking his last name, I am torn. My last name has been with me for 27 years, it's a part of me. And going from a Gomez to a Jones, per se, is very hard for me to wrap my head around.

I've mentioned to fiance about hyphenating. He's not surprised because I am a modern woman, and very proud of who I am.

I still have plenty of time to decide what to do. But just to be safe, I opened up two email accounts, (my name)+(his last name)@gmail.com and (my name)+(my last name)+(his last name)@gmail.com.

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Please Don't Stop (or - Stop) the Music !

We just booked our DJ for the wedding reception. Another task checked off the To Do list.

So with a guest list of 50% Latinos and 50% Americans, what will the playlist look like? Fiance and I haven't even touched upon that subject yet because I know it's going to be a long discussion.

Do we alternate between Spanish/English songs? Do we have a few Salsa/Merengue songs and then some R&B/Retro? Will half the room sit down during Carlos Vives and then the other during Lady Ga Ga?

I do know two things though, the father/daughter dance will be to a Spanish song. And fiance's mother/son song will obviously be in English.

See, the wedding isn't just about fiance and I. It's about our families and friends becoming one - cheesy, I know. The last thing we want is to make anyone feel left out or uncomfortable (or BORED).

Lucky for us, everyone is so excited about the wedding. And, with a few cocktails in them, they'll be dancing to whatever is on.

Saludos,

Miss Cafe

The Reveal

Here they are! Sadly only two cards made it out of my initial four. I messed up a few and ran out of construction paper to make more cards and envelopes. But that's OK, I am getting the hang of it.

Front of the card:



Envelope:



Inside:



It says, "Because it take other moms more than one cup of coffee to be nearly as amazing as you!"

Happy Mother's Day!

Not too shabby for my first YUDU project.

YU like?

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Ugh, Let's Try That Again

I finally opened my YUDU today (I know -FINALLY) and realized that the Proof of Purchase had been sliced out. I freaked out and immediately called the store I purchased it from. I was worried that I would either have a problem A) Returning it or B) Claiming my rebate.

It turns out that someone bought my YUDU, cut out the UPC and returned it - unbeknown to the store (Not Cool!). The manager I spoke to was extremely nice an told me I wouldn't have a problem - he would help me either way.

So how did the Mother's Day cards come out? I'll just wait to show you the 2nd or 3rd print run. I spent my day watching the tutorials, attempting the steps, wondering what I did wrong, rinsing and repeat. I have no idea how black ink ended up where it did - in the kitchen, on the floor, my phone and on my elbow (that I know of so far). Luckily, the ink is easy to clean up.

Fiance was looking at the contraption trying to figure out how it worked. Honey, I'll explain it to you once I figure it out.

Mother's Day cards will be slightly late this year. I'll make sure to note that they are home-made. Hopefully, my mom and future mother-in-law will be so distracted by how cute they are and how hard I worked to realize how late they arrived (I hope). I might start next year's Mother's Day cards this week - just to be safe.

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Yu can Du it !

My poor YUDU has been sitting in its box for over a month now. Mainly because I am scared to open it. You see, I have buyer's remorse... (don't worry fiance, I am keeping you.) I am worried that if I open it, I am going to want to return it - and I'll have to succumb to a store credit.

I purchased a YUDU with intentions of making our wedding invitations. When I started researching invites a few weeks ago, I realized that many brides design and print their own - giving it that personalized touch. Now, that, sounded like a fantastic idea. Some used their home printer, some used rubber stamps and some mentioned a YUDU. I am a DIYer, but wasn't sure if I wanted to challenge myself to design and manufacture my invites - it was tempting though. After a few seconds of contemplating, I told fiance I was going to buy a YUDU.

Here is my YUDU on April 3rd, 2009, the day I bought it.



And here it is today.



The sad thing is that it's been in the exact same spot since I bought it. I vacuum around it, stack stuff on top of it, bump into it. I keep telling myself I need to make a decision. Well, according to the receipt, the store has a 60-day return policy... and I have 26 days left to commit.

But today, I decided to take the chance and open it for my first project - Mother's Day cards. Depending on the outcome, I'll decide whether or not to print my own wedding invitations with the YUDU.

Stay tuned for the tutorial and results.

Saludos!

Miss Cafe

Saludos

I haven't told my fiance yet, but I am now a blogger.

You see, every day or two I (graciously) pout around the apartment complaining that there is nothing to do, or that everyone is busy doing who knows what, and whine about not losing weight (even though I have a number of excuses for not going to the gym). Yesterday, was one of those days. I don't know if it was the ginormous rain cloud hovering over the city or I finally got bored of watching the Law & Order marathon, but I was having one of my "there must be more to this" attacks. Bless fiance's heart for his patience (and for agreeing with everything I say).

"Make a list of everything you want to do," he so genuinely says. I gave him my, "that's not helpful" look and went back to the guest room to continue pouting, waiting for him to follow me in and baby me. Well he didn't and I eventually moved on to my trusty distraction - planning our wedding.

This morning, I still had that itch to do something, anything, outside of my normal routine. I am proud to say that I went to the gym this morning which I shamefully have to admit is located in my apartment building. Note to self - go to the gym!

As I sit here in my cube at work, pretending to work, I thought about what fiance said and I made a "Want To Do List". A few items on there are long term goals, because let's be honest, I am not ready to run a marathon (I can run/walk 2 miles though....). so that being said, I moved on to a feasible goal -starting a blog. I've thought about starting one numerous times while reading wedding blog after blog. But never thought I had anything to say.

Well I decided to fiance for a while and find a new avenue to channel my "there must be more to this" attacks.

And with that said...Hello world, I am here.I hope you'll enjoy my tidbits as much as I'll enjoy writing them.

Saludos!

Miss Cafe